This was a problem for grade school, high school, and part of college.I remained feeling “imprisoned” by my shyness/introversion for most of my 20s. I'm of course still an introvert and I'm better with people one on one, but I don't get nervous when I have a presentation to make in front of a big group of people, or go to a party and small talk with strangers.It’s much easier to get a date with someone if they are interested in you.If you have a special talent, use it to become good at something that attracts the attention of girls you’d like to date. Letting other people praise your accomplishments is much more attractive to girls and women than acting like you are your own biggest fan. Girls tend to appreciate a guy who knows not to talk with his mouth full, how to stand back and let someone else enter a door first, and how to keep his voice volume low in a crowded movie theater.An older sister or even your mom can be a great source of information. Maybe you’ll find her in astronomy club or in fencing class. The better she knows you, the less risk she takes in going out with you — and the less risk you take that you won’t have anything to talk about. SEVEN: When you ask a girl on a date, make it specific. ” is really asking her to pass judgment on you as a person.Other guys can be helpful, if you can trust them, but girls have insights guys don’t. Having something in common makes it easier to talk with a girl, so put yourself in situations where you’re likely to meet someone who likes what you like. A girl who is not interested may say “Yes” in order not to hurt your feelings.I had put myself out there and dated different women.Than I “chose” one (she chose me as well ;-) ), and now we're married and have a son together.
Either way it's usually got nothing or very little to do with you - and that there is another nugget of truth that is so so important for most people to understand.
You could wait a few more days and ask her out again, but two or three attempts without encouragement from a girl is a pretty clear indication that it’s best to move on and focus on someone else. One of the biggest mistakes guys make is talking too much about themselves or their interests.
This is a special challenge for guys with Asperger Syndrome.
Brenda Smith Myles wrote an excellent book on the subject called The Hidden Curriculum.
She highlights several ways to teach those unspoken, hidden social rules through social narratives, cartooning, Power Cards, and video modeling.
Her book Socially Curious, Curiously Social teaches perspective taking, facing social challenges, creating thinking flexibility and building strong friendships.